No matter what my mother says, listening to Miley Cyrus at my age will not win me a ticket straight to hell

So I’m 37 and my cell phone ringtone is “. . . Baby One More Time.” My mother thinks this is a sign of some sort of mental disorder. Why is it such a horrible thing to study textbooks all day and read “OK ” at night?

I am easily swayed by the media. I hate to watch the news because I get devastated by the onslaught of depressing stories. When I lived in Huntsville Alabama, I couldn’t avoid country music, even though when “Love, Me” by Collin Raye came on the car radio, I usually had to pull over to the side of the road because I was sobbing uncontrollably.

Happy music makes me happy. I grew up in the days of Poison, Motley Crue and Whitesnake, so I have tons of practice listening to mindless music. When I lived in Orlando, teen pop was unavoidable. In fact, I made my ex-husband take me to see Britney Spears. Oh. And *NSYNC. Twice.

Anyone still wondering why I’m divorced?

Here is my current playlist. Mock if you must.

Nobody’s Perfect	3:21	Hannah Montana	Hannah Montana 2 – Meet Miley Cyrus	Soundtrack
Dance Floor Anthem	4:04	Good Charlotte	Good Morning Revival	Alternative
See You Again	3:10	Miley Cyrus	Hannah Montana 2 – Meet Miley Cyrus	Soundtrack
Fabulous	3:01	Ryan & Sharpay	High School Musical 2 (Original Soundtrack)	Soundtrack
Extraordinary	2:55	Mandy Moore	Wild Hope	Pop
Stronger	5:12	Kanye West	Graduation	Hip-Hop/Rap
Move Over	2:47	Spice Girls	Spiceworld	Pop
I Don’t Dance	3:37	Chad & Ryan	High School Musical 2 (Original Soundtrack)	Soundtrack
C’est La Vie	2:52	Bewitched	B*Witched	Pop
Start All Over	3:27	Miley Cyrus	Hannah Montana 2 – Meet Miley Cyrus	Soundtrack
Sk8er Boi	3:24	Avril Lavigne	Let Go	Pop
U + Ur Hand	3:34	P!nk	I’m Not Dead	Pop
Stronger	3:23	Britney Spears	Oops!…I Did It Again [Japan]	Pop
Love Is The Right Place	3:17	Bryan White	The Right Place	Country
La La	3:44	Ashlee Simpson	Autobiography	Pop
I Got Nerve	3:05	Hannah Montana	Hannah Montana (Songs from and Inspired By the Hit TV Series)	Soundtrack
Girlfriend (Featuring Lil’ Mama) [Dr. Luke Mix]	3:25	Avril Lavigne	Girlfriend – Single	Pop
Days Go By	3:45	Keith Urban	Be Here	Country
Since U Been Gone	3:09	Kelly Clarkson	Breakaway	Pop
What Time Is It	3:18	High School Musical Cast	High School Musical 2 (Original Soundtrack)	Soundtrack
(You Drive Me) Crazy (The Stop Remix!)	3:17	Britney Spears	Greatest Hits: My Prerogative	Pop
Everyday	4:38	High School Musical Cast	High School Musical 2 (Original Soundtrack)	Soundtrack

 

Now everybody rush to iTunes and download a few of your inner child’s favorites. Something that really works when you sing into your hairbrush in front of the mirror. Go ahead.